A Little Box of Letters...

The past couple of weeks I have been sorting through boxes of things at my grandparents house.

Going through different things from someone's life is not easy emotionally.

Just looking through someone's personal items or stuff... it's hard. 

Though it hasn't been hard to actually find things~

 my grandmother was an unbelievably organized person.

(Ahem... unfortunately, I did NOT get that trait from her.)

She had several file cabinets filled with checks and paperwork from 30 years ago 

Labels on everything- alphabetized, sorted and organized

Boxes of vinyl records - yep that they actually used to play, a library of movies
and photo albums for every occasion.

One of her favorite mottos was

 'A place for everything and everything in it's place'

As I was loading up several boxes of legal paperwork,
old cards & photos to bring to my mom to look through

I noticed some scribbly handwriting on pink paper that looked familiar in a box of letters.

It was a letter from me sent to Grammy when I was a little girl.

As I opened it, it was almost like I was that little girl writing to my grandmother again.

The words were familiar and the stationary was a favorite of mine.

I set the box down and looked through and found more letters I wrote to her

and soon had several stacks to read through.

I talked about Goldie & Punkin the dogs 

or how she and Gramps helped re-do my bedroom with that princess canopy bed

 or how much fun I had visiting them.

I found letters from when I could barely write

all the way through to when I moved out of the state
and there were even a few from my kids sent to Grammy and Gramps mixed in too.

Some of them were a reminder of that giggly girl 

and the crazy things I used to dream up.

 Talks about the cups of cocoa we would share while doing a puzzle 

or the fun we had watching those late night thrillers on tv when I visited.

Some of them were just simple notes to say hello. 

Some of the letters were harder to read. 

 They brought back the struggles I was having or the insecurities that I felt at the time.

 Several letters where I was wishing I was with her up in the mountains 

or how I was searching for my way in the world 

There were apologies for my teenage girl attitude
some broken heart moments

&
 more than one letter wondering why someone important in my life didn't 

 place any importance on me and always
 left me feeling not good enough.

 I was so lucky to have a lot of incredible people in my life who loved me and encouraged me

 but my grandmother and I had a very special bond

and these letters are sweet treasured reminders.

The words in these letters showed what a huge presence she has always been in my life

  How I knew I could always depend on her and tell her anything 

and knew she would love me no matter what 

even when I felt like I was un-lovable.

That my Grammy was not just my grandmother

 but she was always one of my closest friends.

These letters brought a lot of laughs about some of my goofy thoughts

  remembering so many good things.

Of course, they also brought some tears.

But surprisingly, they brought something else too.

Finding these old handwritten  letters from that young
daydreaming girl that I used to be 

has inspired me.

Inspired me to move forward with something that my grandmother encouraged a long time ago.

Something a little daydreamy and crazy - kind of like I used to be.

Something that has been waiting and waiting 

  to be planted and to bloom.

It's incredible to think that even though she has been gone for over a year now

just by saving all of the letters and notes from years ago

Grammy is continuing to encourage me to follow my dreams

 and to believe in myself.

 

Happy Sunday Everyone