teenagers on holiday and french peach tarts

        

Our short break in the South was spontaneous, hilarious and exactly what I needed after a long summer and before a busy fall.

Less than  a week before we left, I was still searching for somewhere to stay for ... me .... my dear husband ..... our four children ..... their friends .... and two dogs!!  YUP!

This holiday was meant to be.... as a few days before our leaving date, a huge house materialised, complete with a ton of bedrooms, a pool, space for the dogs to run around, easy access to a sleepy little village and bikes for everyone.  For a week we forgot about internet (well almost) forgot about the news, practically forgot about the car, and wandered from pool to table to river to pool to table in a happy haze.

If you are feeling weary, I can recommend no better remedy than heading off with a bunch of youngsters aged between 15 and 21. 

Why was it such a good idea to holiday with teenagers?  

Because they just wanted to relax. 

They liked to smile and laugh the whole time.  

They were not picky - about anything! 

They got up late, which meant I could have a first breakfast and cup of tea alone on the terrace MMMM....

They listened to a most eclectic selection of music, and the house was filled with 

jazz, rap, reggae, rock and classical airs all day long

They let me beat them at cards and at tennis! (OK so they are very polite kids)

and whatever I put on the table was immediately devoured! 

Which brings me neatly around to a favourite summertime dessert

LE peach tart, a feast for the eyes, and super quick and easy to put together.

These are more photos taken by Ella, great pictures in a not so pretty baking tin, plus the tart was left a few minutes too long in the oven, but hey!  these things happen... and there was definitely no tart left by the end of the meal so it can't have been that bad!

To make a peach tart for a bunch of hungry teenagers, first make a delicious sweet pastry, I'm sure you have your favourite recipe, I like mine rich in butter, sugar and maybe some ground almonds.

If you are feeling like a saint, you'll blind-bake your pastry base.  This is a good investment of time, because the peach gets so juicy, if the pastry isn't pre-cooked, it will just go soggy.

While the pastry is in the oven, pour yourself a glass of wine, press PLAY on anything by Bob Marley and wash and slice your peaches.  I don't even skin them, because the fruit looks prettier with the skin still on (even if you go for this year's fashionable char-grilled look !!)

Take the pastry out of the oven , choose another CD,  sprinkle a little sugar over the base, quickly arrange the slices of peach, sprinkle more sugar and pop the whole lot into the oven.

Keep an eye on the tart  because there is a danger of it - ahem - caramelising.  I'd say about half a CD and two glasses of wine and the tart will be done!

Voilà  - I hope you also have some happy carefree moments to remember from the summer.  Thank you for reading me!

decorating teenage bedrooms and watchings kids create

There are few things I find as mesmerising as watching someone paint or draw, and when that person is a child, then I think I love it even more.

This week, one of the tasks on the agenda was renovating my teenage son's bedroom.  That delicate moment , at 15 years old, when he is ready to leave behind his child's room and assume a style that says ME!

What to put on the walls came under discussion, and I mentioned how much I liked his charcoal portraits he had done at school last term.  We found a couple of black frames, liked the way they looked, and from there he decided to draw  a few more.

I left him in peace, and by the end of an afternoon, we found ourselves with a little portrait gallery.  I love it!

This would work very well with any children's (or adult's!) drawings.  What brings it together is the uniform style, and the simple frames.

Its like most of the stuff I show here.  No bling bling, just a simple idea, put together  with care.

Tomorrow I bring you the second giveaway of the month, so don't forget to stop by and try your luck!

teenagers growing up

My third child, a daughter, turned 17 yesterday and had a lovely, happy  carefree day....  It inevitably got me thinking about how we watch them grow, and how their generation differs from ours.

As we approached her birthday, she was dropping 'hints' about things she "really needs".  Some hints were tucked away safely and acted upon, others were met with a "hmmmm" and  put aside to think on (or forget), and some just made me laugh.  I mean, really?! can you tell me what a 17 year old, living in the countryside, could possibly do with a pair of Louboutin?!!  Yes, you read that right.  Not that she expected me to pay proper Louboutin prices, she was convinced she found a site where they were sold cheaper.....

Whatever..... the question is, when is it time to say "yes, you're right, times have changed, and your generation does need things that we never even dreamt of"  and when is it time to say " NO WAY!! Don't even think about it!" ?

Of course this doesn't only apply to gifts and purchases, it is also true for behaviour and boundaries.

As a parent I find myself constantly setting boundaries, and permanently having to judge where they should lie and whether they are flexible.  Since my children are quite a strong headed bunch have character (probably not a bad thing in today's competitive world) I tend  to set the boundaries too tight for the first round of negotiations, knowing full well what the reaction will be and thus leaving myself a little room for manoeuvre.

When they were little they soon figured that Papa was a softer touch than Maman.  A couple of times I said  "No" to a daughter only to hear;  "it doesn't matter we'll ask daddy, he'll say yes!"

We have got over that now, but there is so much peer pressure around.  What is the right time to come home from friends?  How closely do you check on a teenage party in the barn? How high do heels have to be?!

I'm not trying to make my children sound like monsters.  They are great kids, well balanced and sociable.   I adore them, and I'm proud of them.  But raising teenagers is a pretty steep learning curve, and by the time the fourth child gets to 18 I'll certainly have learnt a lot, and changed a lot too.  "Don't worry, Mummy just needs to grow up" is how I once heard one daughter explain to the other.

Well yes, maybe this Mummy does need to grow up, and most of the time she enjoys the process.  But sometimes, just now and again, Mummy doesn't want to be the rule setter, the figure of authority; now and again she just wants to be c-o-o-l.

Thanks for listening to this, I'm sure you have been through some of the same stuff.  Some more extreme, some less.  Do you think that the world has changed that much in the past 40 years?  Do you see eye to eye on everything with your children?   I especially wonder about those amazing parents who home school their children, that must really change the way things work out.  Or the families where religious faith is central to everyday life, sometimes a comfort and sometimes an added pressure?

  I'd really love to hear what your experiences have been.  If you'd like to share, as a parent or as a child, what have you come away with?

teenage parties

If you have teenagers in your house, how does it go when they want to throw a party?

A flat "NO!" ,

an enthusiastic "YES!",  

or is it like here, ...  "LET'S NEGOTIATE" ......

Our 16 year old daughter planned to throw a Halloween party.   "Great idea", I said, "dressing up; get out the cemetery (yes, we have our own  cemetery); , simple food;  lots of fun .... what time will it finish?"    

It's the word 'finish' that created our first hurdle.  It appears that  it is totally uncool to have a finishing time for a party these days, they prefer their celebrations to simply end naturally in a pile of bedraggled exhausted teenagers, probably at dawn.

I wasn't going down that road:   "Impossible" I pronounced, "you go back to school  on Thursday (they're on half term break) , you have to be on good form.   Let's say they go home at 2."  

Now I thought I was being pretty generous and laid back here, but we quickly arrived at our second hurdle, this time the sticking point was the words  "go home"!!   hmmmm ......

I won't bore you with all the details but out of the 30 kids invited, we agree that 10 would stay over but ended up with 17!   ..............  what can I say?  Times are changing, parents are no longer prepared to come out at all hours to retrieve youngsters (?!).  In the summer it doesn't really matter, they can all sleep in tents in the garden, but last night it was close to freezing, they had to come indoors.

I won't tell you that I was sweetness and light at 3am when they finally went quiet, but this morning all was forgotten.  I was up early, laid out everything for a massive breakfast, complete with candles before leaving at 9 for a walk in the forest with the dog and a girlfriend.  I returned to find a happy, chatty table full of teenagers, getting through industrial quantities of bread and home made jam, taking turns to play the piano, ... my heart melted.

I know that I'll miss these years when the house is busy and full.  We love that our barn is big enough to host their parties,  and when it comes down to it, does it really matter if I have a sleepless night now and again?!

as they fly the nest ...........

As you may know I have just settled one of our daughters to start her studies in Nice.  With this comes the  practical side of course: the move; the settling in; decorating the flat; - and I loved that she let me share the fun in all of that, - but then there is the emotional side to it all.

The empty nest ....  what most of us dread.  It's looming shadow was one of the reasons that pushed me to start my blog " to reinvent myself !" 

With four children the empty nest doesn't happen overnight, they slip away one by one, sometimes temporarily before they return - also temporarily -  filling the house with urgency and fun then re-disappearing for longer, maybe for ever.

So what do you say as they finally flap their wings and jump overboard on their own, solo in this big wide world?  Do you offer words of advice or do you just say, "what they haven"t learned by now, it's too late to start teaching". 

Is it more difficult to watch a girl go off than a boy? not because your affection is greater of course, but because the dangers sure seem to be.

Is part of our need to still be with them, an underlying need to keep them little, or are we wistful for  our own youth and wishing to live vicariously through their new experiences?

I guess it's really a mix of all the above and more, but I wondered about  the best adieu .....

Good luck!

Be brave!

Be kind!

Be on your guard!

Eat proper food!

Wash your socks!

Dare!

Enjoy!

Spend wisely!

Come home often!

Write me!

Work hard!

Tell us all about it!

The danger here is that it sounds like a list of commands, orders:   "Atten......SHUN!"

Maybe the very best words are simply to say,

I love you, I believe in you, I trust you,
I'm here if you need me, 

you will do well 
 ♥♥

I wish you all a beautiful Sunday, with or without your family.

Be kind to each other, enjoy.

teenage parties

Forget the balloons, the treasure hunts, the tug of war and pin the tail on the donkey.

Long gone those days

Now we are into the teenage party

-  pause ... take a valium ...   no, better make that two ... pause  -

My children are great, I dote on them, I can be strict but actually I am super indulgent.  Our home is open to their friends, that's the  way we love it.  Why?   .....

1.   because I love to get to know the people they want to spend time with 

2.  because they are safer here than out on the town, and

3.  because it just makes me happy to have the house full to the brim.

So when my sixteen year old says "Mummy, can I organise a surprise birthday party for Sebastian here, we'll just be 8, we'll sleep in tents, we won't make any noise ......"  and I know full well it will end up at least 15 of them, with music and a sleepless night, I invariably say " yes darling, of course, what would you like for the birthday supper?"...

So it was again this weekend - the party was for a certain Baptiste, the eight guests grew to twenty three.  Tents were pitched, sleeping bags appeared,   but I'm pretty sure nobody slept a wink and the next morning I served le petit-dejeuner in order of arrival, but mostly continually between 8 and 11.30!!

Sounds grim?  No, it was wonderful .....

For a start, the said daughter made the birthday cake.  Some of the friends arrived early
and together they prepared most of the dinner themselves.

The birthday boy arrived and was visibly thrilled that his mates had prepared
this expression of affection.

The evening was a huge success, the music was cool, they laughed a lot as
they sat around our barbecue table and chatted

OK, so I did have to get out of bed at 4.50am and suggest that it might be a good
moment to retire to the tents, but you know what?    they agreed!!

and this morning..... I sat down and drunk a cup of tea with the first breakfast sitting - the coolest , sweetest kids you could meet.  I was rewarded for my presence with magic tricks - EXCELLENT - and then a piano recital  ....SIGH

This morning it felt good to be a mother :)  :)  :) !!

a family reflection

The quiet house today, Sunday, has made me appreciate how busy everyone in our family keep themselves.  This year is a big year for each of my four children, and I salute their energy, their determination and their sticking power.  Each has thrown him or herself whole heartedly into the challenges facing them this year, at university, on a gap year, at high school and at school.

We can encourage, support and boost  them but only they can decide to buckle down and go for it.

I am grateful to have a husband who sets them a fine example, and that he and I both come from families who taught us the importance of close family support and love.

I've said it here before, but I feel for this coming generation.  They face a future that  can look bleak and discouraging.  They are often criticised, they need more praise, more optimism, more good reasons to hope and plan and hold onto ambitions.

Let us never forget the importance of a pat on the back and a friendly word of encouragement.

les jeunes aujourd'hui

I don't think that teenagers today get a particularly easy ride.  We don't allow them many reasons for optimism and that bothers me.  Peer pressure encourages them to grow up too fast, and the adult world looks pretty scary in today's grey economic and ecological environment.

Here we try to open our house as much as possible to our children's friends.  It's reassuring to know where everyone is, and I like them to think of us as a welcoming home.  I'm not holding myself up as some sort of saint, but I definitely prefer to have the house full of youngsters - even if I am cooking for about 15 at each meal at the moment! - than to have it deathly quiet, and wonder where my kids are and what they're up to!

 

This week we had something new.  My 17 year old daughter got a call from a couple of high school friends.  They were at a loose end,  they said..., looking for something to do, they added...., love the food at your house they mentioned!!  I took this is as a huge compliment.

The result was that the two boys cycled 80km or 50 miles to get here, and in exchange for good food, and fun days, they have completely repainted my barn doors.  How cool is that!!

Merci les garcons!

Don't ever let people knock today's teenagers.  Sometimes all they need is our trust and the space to express themselves.

children grow up

I've been exchanging a couple of mails with Melissa recently.  Melissa resides here and we've been chatting.   It's funny how our family atmospheres seem similar despite different backgrounds etc, blog talk... you know... friendly.  Hers is obviously a happy family like ours, lively and fun. 

Anyway, her kiddies are younger than my youngest and it got me thinking about the different stages of child raising, and how we all enjoy the different bits and react in our individual ways.  

I'm wondering how you have handled it if you're a parent, or if you have any particular memories of your own parents parenting to you.

I have very few memories of my parents holding me back, but I'm discovering that that requires a lot of generosity and courage.  Especially when it gets to the sticky bits like boy/girlfriends, studies and career directions.

I adore my children, I've tried to be a hands-on mother, available to satisfy their demands, and throwing myself whole heartedly into home-making, school associations, open house to their friends, backing them in their sports and hobbies, teaching them to read, to paint etc etc.  But at the moment I have to admit that having 4 teenagers is a lot to handle.

Don't get me wrong, they are great kids, this is a happy home, their friends love coming here.   My children are in fact all incredibly zen -  they say they don't need to stress because I stress enough for the whole family!

Many of you, like Melissa, are enjoying that blessed time when your children are all little and family life is still at the top of everyone's agenda, when everyone pulls in the same direction.  A few years on and a teenager has his or her own agenda, and that's normal.   They are growing and changing, and  they force us to grow and change too.  I know this is nothing new, but I personally wasn't prepared enough.  It all happens too fast.

It's very hard to write this without sounding like a control freak!  Actually it's very hard to write this, period!

The last thing I'd want is for them to be here for ever and not manage to create their own lives.  But oh, how it aches when you worry about them going in the wrong direction.  I feel so proud of the people they are becoming, and yet I still want to guide them.  How often have I heard "Trust me Mummy!"

Today's world is big, competitive and aggressive.  One bit of me says "trust them, trust the way you've brought them up", but another part can't help but worry about the temptations they encounter, and the difficulties they'll come across.

We want them to have character, heaven knows they're going to need it, but often we tell them to tone it down.  We worry about the big wide world, yet we encourage them to travel afar and look for adventure.

So are you laughing at me?  Do you have little ones, and these worries seem far away?  Maybe you don't have children and you observe the parenting  around you?  If you could do it all over, would you change anything?  Do you prefer to over-protect, or let them learn through experience?  Will it suddenly seem straight forward once they are young professionals, or will this angst pursue me for a lot longer?  I'd love to hear your comments.  Thank you for listening!!